Keep Your Cool-don’t Allow Anger to Control Your Relationships
If you anger easily, perhaps you need some techniques to Keep Your Cool. How you handle anger is how your children assume adults are supposed to handle anger and thus they use you as a role model.
Look deeply in your heart and discover what you are really mad about? Rarely is the anger about the present incident, but rather unmet needs from the past.
Do you want your children to respect you? Is the underlying need for respect? Do you want people to assume personal responsiblity? Know your limits. Accept what you can’t change and let go of things out of your control.
Here are some ideas that have worked for other parents. Try them and see if you can control your anger rather than let your anger control you.
Ease your tension. Take a walk; listen to music, splash cold water on your face.
Earn small rewards when you make the choice not to become angry.
Phone a friend. It helps to share your concerns and talk things out.
Your example helps your children learn to handle anger. Be a good role model.
Object to the behavior if necessary, but separate the “deed from the doer.”
Use your kitchen timer for “time out” before disciplining.
Remember that everyone makes mistakes, including you and your children.
Count your breaths. Breathe in deep while counting to four. Breathe out while counting to four. Do four times.
Old tapes in your head may be making your reaction more than it should be. Are you angry because of issues in your childhood?
Out of ideas to handle anger?
Consider parenting classes or professional counseling.
Look objectively at the situation. Are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Is it really worth having a heart attack or stroke? This too shall pass.
Controlling angry feelings is a skill that children learn from the people who care for them. There are activities which support our development of self-control. Count to twenty, backwards! We all need to find helpful ways to intervene when anger and frustration overwhelms us or our children.
By: Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach
About the Author:
Look deeply in your heart and discover what you are really mad about? Rarely is the anger about the present incident, but rather unmet needs from the past.
Do you want your children to respect you? Is the underlying need for respect? Do you want people to assume personal responsiblity? Know your limits. Accept what you can’t change and let go of things out of your control.
Here are some ideas that have worked for other parents. Try them and see if you can control your anger rather than let your anger control you.
Ease your tension. Take a walk; listen to music, splash cold water on your face.
Earn small rewards when you make the choice not to become angry.
Phone a friend. It helps to share your concerns and talk things out.
Your example helps your children learn to handle anger. Be a good role model.
Object to the behavior if necessary, but separate the “deed from the doer.”
Use your kitchen timer for “time out” before disciplining.
Remember that everyone makes mistakes, including you and your children.
Count your breaths. Breathe in deep while counting to four. Breathe out while counting to four. Do four times.
Old tapes in your head may be making your reaction more than it should be. Are you angry because of issues in your childhood?
Out of ideas to handle anger?
Consider parenting classes or professional counseling.
Look objectively at the situation. Are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Is it really worth having a heart attack or stroke? This too shall pass.
Controlling angry feelings is a skill that children learn from the people who care for them. There are activities which support our development of self-control. Count to twenty, backwards! We all need to find helpful ways to intervene when anger and frustration overwhelms us or our children.
By: Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach
About the Author:
(c)Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke is a family coach and parent educator. She has written over 20 books and many many articles on building relationships on respect and open communication.
Please join us each Thursday for free teleclasses and radio shows at http://www.ArtichokePress.com You will be glad you did.
If your family is having problems or behavior situations that can not be helped with an article or book, please go to http://www.DisciplineYesPunishNo.com for a program that will transform your family. I recommend it to all my parenting classes.
Tags: Anger Control, Angry Feelings, Rewards