Men and women tend to function from two completely different directions when it comes to how they behave in a relationship. This behavior is most prominent in regard to how they communicate and their levels of understanding.

According to studies written by relationship counselors, communication is responsible for more than half of the failed relationships that have been observed and documented.

This is not news to anyone who has experienced a relationship that has lasted more than 30 days. What may be interesting is the variety of issues that cause relationships to fail.

I’ve been on both sides of a broken relationship over my years of living and working as a counselor. Once as a child of a functioning but broken home and once as the spouse who left the relationship.

What I learned from each perspective I have written into a battery of counseling tips and conversations that serve to support couples. The saying, “Knowledge is power,” rings true when it comes to relationship rescue. If you have 5 minutes to spare to focus on your relationship skills, you can learn to make your relationship lighter. By lighter I mean, the heaviness that many relationships carry is based on baggage being carried by the partners. Most often the partners carry this baggage silently.

The primary issue that impacts the relationship is not the baggage or the presenting issues that cause or contribute to the failure of the relationship. What tends to feed the decline is the silent suffering combined with a subconscious belief that the other partner should be aware of this baggage, even though neither of them has given anything more than a hint of what is being carried.

Making your relationship lighter may be an alien term or merely a distracting thought with a funny name. Take 5 minutes to open your mind to some new possibilities that may be hidden in your relationship.

John Maxwell, author of “Relationships 101,” says, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” When it comes to relationships, most often the male and the female partner fail to communicate this fundamental message.

Looking deeper into ways of strengthening your relationship beyond the physical level of living together, means each partner must be deeply committed to the other partner. This includes taking the risk of assuming the other partner is carrying baggage silently.

This is not a license to pry or aggressively intrude into the other partner’s privacy, because privacy is always vital in a relationship. Communication is not expecting your partner to disclose every details of their day. Communication travels to emotional locations untouched by words alone.

What helps to understand the balance that is needed begins by looking into the mirror and searching for a way of getting a handle on one’s own baggage. It often occurs in the partnering of individuals that while opposites attract, these opposites also share experiences.

It is documented that children who grown up in a home where a spouse has been abused will mostly find themselves in an abusive relationship as adults. Recognizing the reality of the presence of this baggage in one’s self forms the basis of the subconscious desire for the other partner’s understanding in the form of silent knowing.

Additionally, this type of baggage also provides a basis for deeper understanding of the partner’s own behavior as well as any communicational barriers that have been observed to exist.

The healing and preventative process must begin with a message and an understanding that baggage, both known and unknown, exists in the relationship. Both partners must also recognize that communication is a major player in both the success of their relationship, while lack of communication can be the primary reason for any potential for the failure of the relationship.

“Relationships of trust depend on our willingness to look not only to our own interests, but also the interest of others.”

Peter Farquharson



By: Alex Rich

About the Author:

Human beings have an inherent need to develop meaningful relationships. We all want to share our goals, ideas, joys, sorrows, desires, affection and experiences with someone else. However, we all fall short at times in handling the mechanics of them. There are times when we need to “doctor” up or even perform “surgery” on some of our relationships.

Do you experience any of the following symptoms in any of your relationships? • Frequent arguments • Low energy conversations • Apathy regarding the relationship • Lack of interaction/no desire for proximity • Continuously looking for “something better”

We go to the doctor for regular checkups, but how often do we check the health of our relationships? Just like your physical health, positive relationships-whether they are romantic, social or professional-require maintenance. Good relationships don’t just “happen.” Just as our physical bodies get sick from time to time, most relationships go through periods of “illness” as well. Fortunately, with proper treatment, these relationships can “recover” and thrive.

Being constantly on guard for symptoms of illness within your relationships will help keep them healthy and prosperous. People who have healthy relationships are happier and less stressed.

If you answered “yes” to any of the above symptoms, you might be in an unhealthy relationship. If so, here are some possible “remedies”:

Regular check-ups - to determine the overall health of your relationship, it is important to regularly communicate with your partner, friend, relative or associate to determine how they are feeling about the relationship. Set a regular period, depending on the relationship - monthly, quarterly, etc. to get together for the sole purpose of assessing the relationship.

Relationship checklist/chart - discuss what is working and what is not working in your relationship. Work on the issues and revisit them to see if the “stats” have improved at the next check-in.

“Weigh in” on your relationship - each of you should share your feelings with the other person. Be open and honest about what you are experiencing and listen carefully to his or her concerns.

Take the “temperature” of your relationships. Is it running hot or cold? Do you still enjoy each others’ company and/or benefit from the association. Is it moving in a positive direction?

Measure the “pulse”? Is it strong or weak? Is the bond between you growing stronger or weaker from one check-in to the next?

Use the correct prescription - know the right dosage of love and caring to share with that person, remembering that the prescription will be unique for each individual.

Know yourself - just as you pay attention to your body’s signals when it is experiencing injury or illness, know your personal reactions to the situations you encounter in your relationships and how those situations affect you. Know your “numbers” and how to read your results.

Read the warning signs/symptoms - as indicated above, watch for “key indications” that might indicate that there is a malignancy in your relationship.

Here are some of the “vital signs” of a healthy relationship: • Built on respect, trust and caring • Allows each person to be an individual and to grow personally • Allows for differences of opinion and interests • Apologizes, talks things out and moves on • Knows how to respect each others’ “space” • Enjoys each other’s company • Benefits from each other’s opinions • Supports each other’s goals • Contains open communication and sharing of thoughts and ideas as well as active listening • Establishes boundaries that the other knows not to cross • Has common interests, but also values differences • Picks their battles by determining what is really important and what issues are not worth arguing about and works on one issue at a time. • Comfortable saying “no” when necessary • Expresses appreciation for each other to reaffirm respect and affection

In a healthy relationship, you should not be afraid to speak your mind. No type of relationship should cause you to compromise or doubt who you are. People who have your best interests at heart will never ask you to be someone you are not or to compromise what you believe in. Before being open with anyone else, you must first be honest with yourself about who you are, what you are seeking from another person and what you are willing to give.

Remember, healthy relationships are not built overnight. It takes time, energy and commitment to develop any type of relationship, whether with business associates, family, friends or a romantic partner. So, be happy; be healthy; be whole. Here is to a healthier you!



By: Talayah Stovall

About the Author:

There are specific Feng Shui techniques that you can use to improve your relationship with others (romance included).

But what is Feng Shui? It is an ancient Chinese metaphysical discipline that studies how the environment affects a person’s luck in life particularly in the areas of wealth, health and relationship.

There are many schools of Feng Shui and they each have their special techniques to improve relationship luck. I will share with you a very simple but potent formula that can help you to improve the quality of your relationships with others.

This formula is taken from a system known as the Eight Mansions or Eight House which is more than 1200 years old. This system works on the belief that all of us have favorable and unfavorable directions that are influence by the prevailing directional energies that were present when we were born. These favorable and unfavorable directions affect us throughout our life and our fate can be improved if we sit or sleep in harmony with these directions.

Are you ready to take the plunge? The first thing that you need to do is to determine your ‘Kua’ or ‘Gua’ number. This number can be computed using your date of birth and sex. To make the process of determining your ‘Kua’ number easier, you can simply refer to a ‘Kua Chart’ that you can find easily on the net. Read your ‘Kua’ number off the chart. Take note that it depends on your sex.

There are altogether 8 numbers that range from 1 to 4 and 6 to 9. Find out of ‘relationship’ direction by referring to the list below.

If your Kua is 1, your ‘relationship’ direction is south.

If your Kua is 2, your ‘relationship’ direction is north-west.

If your Kua is 3, your ‘relationship’ direction is south-east.

If your Kua is 4, your ‘relationship’ direction is east.

If your Kua is 6, your ‘relationship’ direction is south-west.

If your Kua is 7, your ‘relationship’ direction is north-east.

If your Kua is 8, your ‘relationship’ direction is west.

If your Kua is 9, your ‘relationship’ direction is north.

Let me illustrate with a couple of examples. If you are a male born on 1st July 1957, your ‘Kua’ number is 7 and your ‘relationship’ direction is north east. If you are a female born on the 15th March 1977, your ‘Kua Number’ is 1 and your ‘relationship’ direction is south.

How to apply the formula? To improve your relationship luck, you should re-arrange your table, chair and bed to face your ‘relationship’ direction.

Let’s say that your ‘relationship’ direction is north. Re-arrange your table and chair, if necessary, so that you are facing north when seated. Your back would then face south. This is quite straight forward.

The sleeping direction is a bit different. It is not the direction that you face while lying in bed. Instead the direction is taken from the crown of your head. If your ‘relationship’ direction is north, then you should sleep in a north-south axis with the crown of your head pointed at north and the base of your feet pointed south.

Did I tell you it is simple? If you have tried everything and are not getting the desired results, why not give it a try? Then wait a few months and see if it works for you!



By: Henry Fong

About the Author:

Every person desires to improve his or her own personality.

It is quite evident in the methods and processes that is being employed in order to accomplish this particular goal. This is perhaps the reason why people buy new clothes or cut their hair. They improve their image and other things related to changing their appearances.

Personality goes beyond external appearance. It includes dispositions, traits, qualities, speech, and other things innate in the person.

Here are some tips in improving personality:

1 - Be interested on people. Try to discover what other people want. Know their likes, dislikes, interests, and beliefs. By doing this, you will be regarded as a person with an attractive and pleasing personality.

2 - Assume that people like you. If you show the other person that you want people to talk to you, they will react to you with warmth.

3 - Admit your weaknesses. Do not regard yourself as a perfect person. Just as persons have strengths, they also have their weaknesses. To improve your personality, you should admit that you also have defects.

4 - Admire your friends. Praise them for their achievements. Tell them how attractive they look. Make them feel how important they are to you. By this, they will also give importance.

5 - Associate with people who are successful and happy. Seek the companionship of others who can give you new points of views, renewed hopes, and meaningful life. Ask for their advice and guidance. They can give you valuable insights about their experiences in life. You can learn from their insights and apply their insights to improving your personality.

6 - Attend social gatherings. Social gatherings can increase your circle of friends. Social events can likewise give you new insights and experiences. It can help improve your relationships with other people and your community. Social gatherings can help you develop your communication skills.

7 - Change your environment. Go on vacation or rest in a new place. Renovate your house and fix your furniture. Introduce changes in your environment.

8 - Learn new things. Learn how to cook or play the piano. Enroll in voice lessons. Indulge in gardening. By doing this, you are expanding your horizons.

Aside from this, you can also develop your skills in other areas such as public speaking and understanding other people’s attitudes and beliefs.

Improving your personality takes a lot of work and dedication. While it may take a lot of work, it can be worthwhile and fun because you are focusing your attention on improving relationships with others and yourself.



By: Moni Arora

About the Author:

THE ESSENCE OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIP

` “Human relationships always help us to carry on because they always presuppose further developments, a future and also because we live as if our only task was precisely to have relationships with other people.” Albert Camus. By virtue of being a human being, we have to play various role at different point of time, and this role is popularly called as ‘Human Relationship’. The reason behind to name it as a role is – at different point of time a person has to play a different role with different people, and it is named as different name such as the relationship of - mother and her offspring, father and his offspring, siblings, husband and wife, friends etc. The same person act differently with different person, depends upon the relationship.

Therefore, this World is a huge stage and we all people are the actors playing our roles. We people do not leave our natural life rather always in constrain of relationship and bound to act accordingly. And this constrain is a bond, binds all persons together, give the definite shape and path, real and rational meaning of life otherwise, life would by chaotic and there would not be any order in the society. Hence, the human relationship is a great weapon with us to protect ourselves from all external threats either offend by a human being itself or by any other creatures or natural calamity.

Nevertheless, there is also some sort of relationships among animals but the area and length are very limited. The sense of social feelings is very small, but among human beings, it is eternal and not bound with particular relationship rather universal in nature: or in other words – animals have ‘affectionate relationship’ and human beings have ‘love relationship’. The difference between these two words is – affection simply means ‘love for only own persons, group, community etc. but love means affection for all, and not bound with only respective group or community, region or country. Walt Disney’s quote has very beautifully corroborated my this sentence - “There is great comfort and inspiration in the feeling of close human relationships and its bearing on our mutual fortunes – a powerful force, to overcome the “tough breaks” which are certain to come to most of us from time to time.”

By giving this much of explanations, I can say it that the human relationship keeps too much importance in human being’s life. It not only teaches the manners and etiquettes but also civilizes the person adequately in order to protect himself and his society as well. In general, the person who deprived of these relationships is found malnourished. Most of his/her behaviours are not acceptable by society. I mean to say, all sorts of delinquencies and other petty crimes are only due to frustration of relationship. The frustrated relationship restrains total development of respective person; subsequently, he/she is unable to understand his/her role in the society and takes wrong path.

In spite of having this much of importance of human relationship, people some time due to some external pressure behaves very irrationally and ready to breaks it up. The break up of relationship is not good for any body at any cost. Moreover, it is very much important in our life because all emotions, feelings, and consciences are cocooned under the word human relationship. Therefore, in order to armored ourselves, we have to have carry on our relationship properly, because its break up is insalubrious not only for the concerning person but also threat for society. To build a building takes too much time but to abolish it, hardly a matter of an hour, I mean, living in relationship is a bit difficult task and to break it up – is very easy. So, it’s depend upon you people which task adopt.

Moreover, before stopping my pen, I want to quote Hugh Walpole’s words i.e. “The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one’s relationship has a growing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing;it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.”



By: Mukesh Kumar

About the Author:

Relationship Rescue

Those early days in a relationship are the uncomplicated ones when everything about your partner is seen through rose decorated glasses and any temperamental shortcomings are ignored in favor of those lovable features that make everything look so perfect. While doing so, we conveniently forget that it takes pains to make a long term relationship work and in the end we head towards one ultimate relationship disaster. And this is when you need to think about relationship rescue, which till date was one of the most alien concepts to you.

Relationships are intricate, and the guiding rules keep changing. It is really hard to keep up as people change, times change and situations change. When your relationship starts turning bad to worse, it doesn’t mean that you no longer love each other or it doesn’t mean that you can’t correct problems. But it does mean that you will have to reconsider some issues, and to hear to that advanced warning you got to drop the smugness, and to rescue the relationship before it’s too late.

If you consider that relationship rescue is difficult, you are wrong. Relationship rescue, in many cases isn’t too hard. Most of the relationships usually react well within a little time and effort, some understanding, a little give and take and reassurance. One can often you can trace the initial breakdown in a relationship back to lack of communication, so in looking at what you need to do to rescue a relationship communication is generally the first part of call. When you consider the consequences, the main causes why someone goes in search of guidance for their failing relationship, to rescue it and save it from final break up, most things can be traced back to prove that communication failure was the root cause.

Even unfaithfulness between partners, such as infidelity can be traced back to a communication gaps. People can spend a lot of time being unhappy in their relationship and pleading for things to get sorted out, whereas, from the other partner’s point of view everything appears alright. A general question arises as how it could happen? How can one partner so obviously see that something is wrong and the other carry on regardless, seemingly happy in the awareness that their relationship is without a flaw? At the end of the day relationships can be minefields, especially if you take your eye off the ball and most relationships struggle at some point, but the majority can be rescued if at least one of the partners recognizes there is a problem and takes action.

Relationships, especially the pong term ones, need to be esteemed, cherished and cared for. At the same time partners have to understand that relationships rarely survive without a effort to keep them alive. Relationships need intimacy, surprises, and that all too forgotten relationship time. Just because people live together it doesn’t mean to say the relationship no longer requires attention and that the partners no longer need to feel special.



By: David

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