We all want to know the secrets of building healthy workplace relationships. Relationships are a powerful factor in contributing to an individual’s success. Yet so many become involved in negative situations at the workplace which drain their energy, enthusiasm and success. Relationship balancing shows how to turn all this around.

Relationship Balancing: What Is It?

Relationship Balancing is the natural flow of energy, support and enthusiasm that develops between individuals who are interacting positively. When this flow is balanced individuals become able to fully tap their potential, inner resources become available and work proceeds optimally. When this flow is blocked an energy drain occurs, resentment develops and success is impeded on many levels.

Are Your Relationships In Balance?

To start the process of relationship balancing take a close you at your workplace relationships. At times of pressure or during difficulties most individuals “react” automatically to those they are working with. Automatic “reactions” are one of the greatest obstacles to positive energy flow. A response as opposed to a reaction is a thoughtful, measured constructive response to what is going on. It is driven by goals and values, not by automatic impulses. It allows us to stop reacting and take charge of what is going on.

Examine each workplace relationship carefully. Assess exactly what you want from this person. What is the function of this relationship in your life? What effect is the relationship presently having? As you do this, you are putting a stop to automatic, knee jerk reactions and channeling your energy and resources.

Activity - Discover Your Personal Relationship Balancing Quotient

List each individual you interact with. Place a score next to each person’s name. Each person will be scored from 1-4.

(1 - not at all; 2 - somewhat; 3 - moderately; 4 a great deal)

a)Each of these individuals are a positive force in my life.

b)I feel at ease with this person.

c)I trust this person.

d)I communicate naturally with this person.

e)I understand what they’re communicating to me.

f)I am able to ask this person for what I want from them.

g)I am able to give this person what they want from me.

SCORE

7-12 Quotient is A1 - Unbalanced

13 -17 Quotient is A2 - Moderately Unbalanced

18- 22 Quotient is A3 - Moderately Balanced

23-28 Quotient is A4 - Well Balanced

Be clear about how balanced or unbalanced a relationship is. This clarity is an important step to making the corrections needed.

Common Sources Of Relationship Imbalance

Source 1 - Casting Blame.

It is easy and often natural to blame others for our own difficulties, failures, mistakes or lack of self-esteem. Sometimes we feel the other is diminishing us, or trying to take something important away. However, by blaming another for your own difficulty, you are disempowering yourself. Take a look at your part in difficult situations. See new ways you could possibly respond.

Source 2 - Holding Onto Resentment.

When we refuse to let go of the wrongs we feel have been done to us, resentment builds and inevitably effects successful outcomes. Resentment cast upon another must also inevitably bounce back upon ourselves. This leads to an unwillingness to communicate and to generalized stress and anxiety. One of the greatest skills we can develop is to learn how to let go of resentment on the spot, the sooner, the better.

Source 3 - Holding onto unrealistic hopes and expectations of the relationship.

Expectations are an enormously important factor in obstructing workplace harmony. When the images, dreams or expectations we have of another are different from the reality of how they are behaving, we become hurt, angry and often withdrawn.

The same happens in connection with expectations we hold of ourselves. Some are always failures in their own eyes and believe others feel that way as well. It is enormously important to determine what our expectations are, (both of others and ourselves) and whether they are congruent with our present situation and realistic.

Activity - Creating Your Own Relationship Blueprint

List the people you are in relationship with at work. Honestly list your expectations of them, what you hope for or imagine. Also write down what you expect of yourself in each relationship. Then write down what is actually going on now, and how you feel about it.

So often we are responding to expectations we have that have nothing to do with the reality of the present situation. To overcome this, become very clear about the purpose of this relationship. Are your expectations appropriate? Are you projecting feelings from another time, person or situation onto this individual? Look at the picture with clear eyes.

Discard expectations that are unrealistic. This immediately releases enormous tension and anxiety and permits balance to be restored. New lines of communication open naturally.

Now create your own relationship blueprint. Create a new vision for the relationship based upon what is happening now, and what is the best for both of you. Blueprints have power. They assist us in taking charge of what we are experiencing, correcting distortions and negativities and replacing it with what we want. In this way we keep track of where we are, who we are with, and what it is that is truly appropriate constructive in this time at this place for all concerned.



By: Brenda Shoshanna

About the Author:

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

You don’t need me to tell you about the dire state of the American economy and the reverberations being felt around the world. While you’re probably well aware of how this is directly impacting your bank account, home value, and nest egg, there is a hidden casualty that doesn’t seem to be getting any press:

Marriages and relationships are buckling under the stress of these uncertain, stressful economic times.

Money is a sensitive and complicated issue for many couples. Arguments and power struggles can easily result and couples often feel blindsided by how a once strong relationship can be pulled apart by conflicts over finances. Here are five steps you can take to help your relationship survive this economic crisis.

1. Make the decision to keep your relationship a priority

It is easy to lose sight of the importance of your relationship during tough economic times (or during any stressful period). Many loving couples lose their way when worries about job security and money begin to take center stage in their relationship-intimacy is temporarily compromised when you or your partner become overwhelmed by fear; the very bond that supports your union can be weakened when your fears become a mainstay of your relationship.

Becoming conscious of this danger is essential to the health of your marriage or relationship. Make it a habit to check in with each other and acknowledge the importance of your relationship-you both need to make a conscious effort to help your love transcend the hurdles you face. With a little planning you and your partner can create “no-worry-zones” throughout the day–protected moments where you both give one another permission to only think about each other, about the positive aspects of your relationship. Think of these as temporary pit-stops that can allow you both to refuel the relationship.

Remember, if you’re anxious about money and/or job security, it will take effort and practice for you to be fully present with your spouse or partner in these moments.

2. Acknowledge and accept changing roles

We all play different roles in our relationships (and in our lives). For instance, you might be the “go-to person” during times of trouble; or maybe you’re the joker who makes everyone smile.

Often changes in family income bring about changes in the roles that were a natural part of your relationship-the bread-winner who took pride in supporting her/his family may now have to apply for unemployment (or take two jobs just to make ends meet); The full-time parent may now be forced to leave the children in someone else’s care and search for work. Beyond defining us as individuals, many of our assumed roles give particular meaning and value to our lives-and we can feel shaken at our core when stripped of these roles.

Share your struggles with your spouse/partner and supportive others if you are having difficulty transitioning into a new and unwelcome role in your life.

3. Find new ways to connect and enjoy one another

Your income and resources may change drastically during a financial crisis-or you may live with chronic anxiety that your finances can drastically change at any moment. Money that you originally allocated for vacations, dining out, gifts and other leisure activities may suddenly be needed to pay the mortgage or rent, be used for food, and utility bills (or saved for future expenses). Your relationship needs to change with the changing tides of your finances.

The challenge is for you and your partner to seek out new ways to connect and enjoy each other without the constraints of limited finances. You’ll need to adopt a new mindset for this to occur and you’ll each need to sacrifice. As your inspiration think of the starving artist or broke college student who are able to create meaningful relationships despite being financially destitute. Try to forget the trappings that money brings and head back to romance basics: holding hands, long walks, movies, games (is anyone up for charades?), making each other laugh…brainstorm together on how to have inexpensive, low- to no- cost fun.

4. Learn to ask for help/seek support from each other

Denial and stoicism aren’t useful, especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Unfortunately, some couples keep their collective heads in the sand and act like it is business as usual until something drastic happens-well, something pretty drastic is happening, so now may be a good time to get your head out of the sand.

All too often couples don’t share their fears with one another-this is especially the case for men. It’s so common it’s become a cliché: the stoic male who’d rather not talk about his feelings (especially emotions that make him feel helpless and not in control); the male who doesn’t access his partner for support but instead pulls away and attempts to deal with problems by himself, leaving his spouse/partner feeling isolated, confused and alone. And, while this pattern is more typically seen in men, there are women who also withdraw in the face of stress.

There’s no way to sugarcoat this: It’s dangerous for you and your partner to begin withdrawing from each other-you’ll now be faced with the anxiety of a troubled relationship on top of everything that’s playing out across the global economy.

5. Understand how you each cope with stress

Lack of financial security creates anxiety in all of us. As your anxiety level escalates during these uncertain times it becomes easy to displace your reactions to stress onto your partner.

No matter how healthy your relationship or marriage is, it is common for conflict to escalate when you and/or your partner are under stress. Ideally couples will learn to rely on one another to get through the difficult times that are part of every life. The reality, however, is often different.

A brief example of how financial stress negatively affected Vince and Karen:

Vince recently lost his job as a systems analyst at a large insurance company. In order to make ends meet, he needed to find work quickly and took a job making significantly less money. For the first time in their marriage, money was extremely tight. Rather than seek out Karen for support, Vince became more withdrawn and began to feel inadequate as a husband–his self-esteem is tightly wrapped around his ability to support his family. Confused by her husband’s behavior, Karen began to confront Vince about his “bad attitude.” Repeated conflicts replaced the once peaceful terrain of their marriage.

Part of the problem for Vince and Karen (as well as for many couples) is that they each have very different coping styles when faced with stressful life events. Vince withdraws and ruminates (rather than seeking support from others) and this triggers a fear reaction in Karen who begins to worry that their marriage is in trouble.

Is there a solution to this dilemma?

Become mindful of each other’s coping style

Often a marriage or relationship is damaged not by the stress itself, but by the way in which you and your partner cope with stress. The more information you have about how you both deal with the pressures of life (your typical patterns of coping), the more understanding and empathy you will have for one another during relationship rough patches.

Is your relationship worth protecting?

Visit StrengthenYourRelationship.com and sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s FREE Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.

As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: “The four mindsets that can topple your relationship” and “Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue before your arguments control you.”



By: Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.

About the Author:

Executive Coaching to Improve Relationships and Communication With Work Associates

Work associates are people who’ve gathered in one place for one common purpose; work. Working relationships are a lot more on the surface than those with a relative or a friend; and the levels of authority and power that are often found in the business world can suppress communications and relationships. When the manager or boss doesn’t take the time to communicate with the staff, they can misinterpret that action or lack there of as negative feedback. As a result, staff members may become afraid to even speak with their superior or boss. With the correct management coaching, advantageous communication lines can be established between the manager and his or her work associates. The following goes over potential workplace management issues and has management coaching information in more detail.

1. The staff assumes the best way to establish good relationships between them and their managers is to stay quiet and ignore things, even when there is an obvious problem.

Management coaching suggestion #1

Although it may be the easy way to avoid getting into a confrontation, you may never clear the air about a problem or disagreement if the fact that they exist isn’t addressed. Constantly looking the other way will just cause employees to build resentment towards the supervisor. It isn’t necessary to go to the extreme and threateningly confront your supervisor. Just be certain you’ve brought the problem to your manager so that he or she is aware of any problems. After the manager and you are able to appreciate the problem from the perspective of the other person, you can come to a resolution that is equitable and fair. In addition, instead of being irritated or angry, you’ll have more respect for one another due to a concern that is shared. Strategic thinking is imperative for every single supervisor or manager to ensure a good workplace environment for those who work for them.

2. Some supervisors or managers will see chances to coach but it’s low as far as priorities are concerned.

Management coaching suggestion #2

A supervisor or manager who doesn’t give a lot of feedback won’t get the opportunity to communicate with associates. As a part of human nature, we drag our feet a bit because of the ramifications of or fear of dealing with a compromising situation. Instead of handling it, we’ll fill up our time at work with other tasks and responsibilities that help to validate our delay. A supervisor or manager might feel awkward confronting, or inadequate advising associates, but utilizing performance coaching with co-workers produces a sincere, strong communication network in the workplace.

3. Supervisors or managers are indifferent to mistakes of their own while seeing the imperfections of others.

Management coaching suggestion #3

Supervisors or managers are expected to be experts in the work place and they need to apply good strategic planning steps. They have the power to modify situations if improvement or modifications are required. Yet, because they are so concentrated on the issues, managers might opt for their own judgment due to a wider knowledge or more experience than those they manage. Self bias is not limited to managers but to people in general. People are by nature inclined to favor their own judgment rather than someone elses. They are quick to call attention to mistakes in somebody else but fail to see their own limitations. Constructive criticism is a professional, popular way to reprimand employees. Yet, feedback given in a genuine and objective way that doesn’t attack, improves character and consideration between both parties.



By: Stephanie Tuia

About the Author:

As an employee, you are a fairly new employee at your job. You have met the boss on two occasions; your interview and one time when he or she demanded that you finish a client’s report. Your boss’s unapproachable nature makes you feel uneasy if not a bit fearful.

As the boss, you don’t have a clue that your workers are intimidated by you. You are basically just concerned that they do their jobs well and produce profit for the company. Your impression of your co-workers is that if they don’t confront you about a problem, then everything is right on target.

Work associates are people that have come together for one common purpose; work. These working relationships are more surfaced than relationships with relatives or close friends; and the levels of authority and status found in business can inhibit communications and relationships. When the boss doesn’t make time to communicate with workers, employees can misinterpret actions or lack of actions as negative feedback. They can become afraid to communicate with their boss. However, with the right managem ent coaching, beneficial communication lines can be established between the manager and his or her co-workers. The following problems discuss potential management issues in the workplace and offer coaching recommendations in more detail.

1. Workers think the best way to build strong relationships with their managers is by keeping quiet and looking the other way, even when there is a problem.

Management coaching suggestion #1

Although it may be the easy way out to avoid confrontation, you may never get to the bottom of a disagreement if you don’t address your arguments. Continuing to look the other way will only cause you to build resentment towards the manager. You don’t have to go to the extreme and boldly confront the manager. Just make sure that you have presented the issue to your manager so that he or she is aware of the problem. After you and the manager understand the issue from the other’s perspective, you can come to a fair resolution. Conversely, you will have better respect for each other because you shared a concern.

2. Some managers find opportunities to coach but they put it low on priority.

Management coaching suggestion #2

A manager who gives feedback a backseat will never have the chance to communicate with employees. By nature, we procrastinate because of the complexity of or fear to deal with a sticky issue. Instead, we will fill up our time with other tasks to help justify our delays. A manager may feel uncomfortable to confront, or inadequate to advise employees, but the ability to use management coaching with co-workers will produce a healthy, open communication network in the workplace.

3. Managers are blind to their own faults while seeing imperfections of others.

Management coaching suggestion #3

Managers are expected to be experts in the work place. They have the authority to rectify a situation if change or improvement is needed. Yet, because they are so focused on the issues, managers may favor their judgment due to a broader knowledge or longer experience than the workers under them. This nature of self-bias is not limited to managers but to all people in general. People are naturally inclined to prefer their own judgment over those of others. They are quick to point out faults in others but fail to see the same faults in themselves. Constructive criticism is a popular, professional approach to correct employees. Yet, mutual feedback given in an objective and honest manner that doesn’t attack, improves character and respect between both parties.



By: Stephanie Tuia

About the Author:

Are you being smothered in your relationship?  Here are some clues that you may be in a relationship that is not good for you:

*Your partner degrades you in front of others far too often

*Your partner says they love you, but rarely do their actions show it

*Your partner tends to try to get you dependant on them

*Your partner is too obsessed about your business such as showing up unexpectedly at places you are at or reading your emails

*You find yourself changing just to please them, not because you want to

You may have gotten to the point of literally feeling sick around your partner, if they are the kind of person that smothered you in the relationship.  Some people, including you, may ask why anyone would want to be in a relationship that makes them feel as though they are smothered or maybe like they are being emotionally harmed and perhaps physically harmed.

Let’s think about the poisonous relationship cycle.  First, if you recall in your own relationship, there is a romantic period. After that there is a major argument of some sort causing a completely stressful event.  Then you reconcile with your partner.  Of course, after that the cycle begins again.

When you first get together with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, you are in the beginning stages of a romantic and lustful relationship.  Once that partner has drawn you in, sometimes unbeknownst to them, you finally realize you are in a relationship that is suffocating you.  At that time it is hard to get out of it.

How does this happen?

Many people grow up in a home that has a suffocating relationship with their mom or dad. Many times this is why they end up in this kind of relationship themselves.  They sometimes have no idea they are even doing it.  Still others believe they do not deserve happiness and so they continue in a bad relationship, not even knowing they don’t have to do that.  In addition, there is a third group of people who feel they have to have someone who they perceive as needing them, and so they continue in a bad relationship due to that perception.

The first step in getting out and staying out of a suffocating relationship is to realize that you have choices.  Many times people who stay in these relationships have low self esteem or suffer from depression.  Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most suffocating relationships, the partner doing the suffocating has subconsciously convinced you that it is your fault.  That makes it difficult to leave the relationship.

Some people are able to repair these relationships on their own and thus keep it alive. But how do they do it?  The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged, even these kinds.  Many times it takes a little space.  Other times, it may take counseling.  But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to recreate the bonds so that they are healthier than before.

To begin with you need to make a point that the relationship must improve or you’re going to end it.  Be serious about that and don’t just say it.  If you aren’t willing to end it, you’ll never be able to correct what really separates you from your partner. 

Once you make a point to free yourself from what is causing a suffocating relationship, you can start to express what you need from the relationship.  Don’t nag the other person relentlessly.  Simply say things like, “I need your love,” “I need your support,” or “I need your opinion.”  Get your partner to realize you want them to participate in your thinking, and be there for you.

Once you learn the techniques for getting your relationship back you will be successful at getting it back.  The suffocating relationship will end and you will feel happier than you ever expected.



By: Mark Jordan

About the Author:

We all individuals look for ways to keep our relationship strong and put our best foot forward to improve our relationships. However to do that we fight against daily busy schedules and day to day priorities. People have become accustomed to the wonders brought by internet today and using an ecard to greet and stay in touch with their loved ones has made life easier.

Ecard has already become a very popular way of greeting and wishing people while enhancing the relationship. Don’t be astonished about the enormous growth of ecard industry, perhaps one of the biggest reasons is the easy way of sending an ecard. A person who has a computer connected to the internet can get into any ecard site available and choose ecard from a wide variety and send it across to their loved ones. As we were talking about enhancing relationship….can you tell me how many of us are able to give time to our partners when he/she is depressed? I’m sure 90% would say, not much. How it would be if we can send few inspirational ecards to improve their mood when we are at work! They will be happy seeing that we are worried about them and the feel good factor will work. Not only personal relationship, people are using ecards to strengthen the business relationship as well. If you are an entrepreneur, send your customer an ecard on his/her anniversary or birthday, trust me he’d love it; next time he needs your service he would not even think of any second vendor and not just that he might as well refer your services to his friends and families. So what did you get by sending an ecard? You earned goodwill for your customer support, earned customers faith and trust, and you developed and enhanced the relationship, bonding and may be some more business. This is why usage of ecards is increasing day by day.

When life is becoming increasingly busy and stressful, continuous development in technology is made to make life easier and mobile technology is one of the ideal examples. Mobiles are one of the easiest way to stay connected with our friends, family and beloved. Few years back when cell phones were first introduced to the public, they were bulky, expensive and with minimum features.

The major problem was with the reception of signals. However technology improved and cell phone has become easy to use with more and more mind-blowing features and now it has become more and more important to our life. The advancement in mobile technology has reached the extent that in near future we hope to use mobile phone for doing everything from paying for lunch to unlock our car.

Now you must be wondering that why on earth mobile phone came into my topic where I was talking about ecards! I’ll tell you how….due to some reasons you are feeling sorry for somebody and want to express your feeling and now you are on the way to your work and you really cannot wait to reach office and then log in to your PC and then look for a ecard site and send your loved ones a message . You don’t have to wait now for your PC. The good news is, you can do it from your cell phone. Yes Cell Phone Ecards are in town. Use it whenever you want and wherever you are. Its really not possible to carry a laptop all the time with you but you can always carry a cell phone and make it work as your pocket PC and always send Cell phone Ecards and improve your relationship while staying mobile.



By: Joydeep Dasgupta

About the Author: