The following is a list of some ideas and general principles that can be applied when communicating with young people:

• All young people can learn, but not in the same way or at the same time.

• All young people can benefit from a caring adult taking the time to be helpful.

• All young people need to have positive experiences in school. Grades are not the only measure of success at school.

• All young people need to develop thinking skills, not just problem solving and remembering facts.

The basic rules of communication with young people can be summarized as follows:

1. Attend the speaker: - Give nonverbal clues you are listening, solicit continued input through verbal acknowledgement, and make contact. If you are doing other things while you are listening, then you are not really listening. This is the message you transmit to a person. Listening is the basis of good communication.

2. Paraphrase the speaker: - Report in your own words what you have heard from the speaker. This reduces the likelihood of misunderstanding and shows the person that you have been listening.

3. . Reflect the speaker’s feelings: - This is quite a difficult skill to master but really simple once the basic premise is understood. Success here requires you to be able to paraphrase content and then go to the next step by adding a feeling statement on the basis of what you have understood. I.e. If Mary says “I do not want to go home I hate my brother” a paraphrase would be “you hate your brother” If you want to turn this into a reflection of feeling statement add something like this “ When you talk about not wanting to go home because you hate your brother I get a real sense of fear”.

4. Summarise the conversation: - A brief summary of a conversation allows you to make sure that you have understood all the most relevant points being made by the young person. It is also another chance to eliminate misunderstandings.

5. In you role as a teacher, use self disclosure only for the benefit of the young person: - Self disclosure refers to talking about self, reporting personal experiences, sharing opinions and offering personal perceptions. In helping relationships with young people self disclosure should benefit the young person. I.e. if a young person tells you they are lonely you may say “when I went to school I was so lonely sometimes I would cry”.

6. Interpret behavior: - You must interpret or synthesize clues through personal filters. Then judgments can be made and opinions formed. Remember though to be careful do not confuse opinion with fact. This leads to conflict. But communication with young people requires you to gauge more than just the spoken word.

7. Probe sparingly: - Try to ask open ended questions with young people when probing. Avoid those types of questions that simply allow a yes or no answer. A question like “What happened to you today?” is likely to gain much more information than did you have a good day?”

8. Give constructive feedback: - The goal is not confrontation. You should try to give constructive feed back. Build on the positives do not just criticize. Do not give feedback in unsolicited circumstances unless it is your role to do so.



By: Gary Hadler

About the Author:

Human beings have an inherent need to develop meaningful relationships. We all want to share our goals, ideas, joys, sorrows, desires, affection and experiences with someone else. However, we all fall short at times in handling the mechanics of them. There are times when we need to “doctor” up or even perform “surgery” on some of our relationships.

Do you experience any of the following symptoms in any of your relationships? • Frequent arguments • Low energy conversations • Apathy regarding the relationship • Lack of interaction/no desire for proximity • Continuously looking for “something better”

We go to the doctor for regular checkups, but how often do we check the health of our relationships? Just like your physical health, positive relationships-whether they are romantic, social or professional-require maintenance. Good relationships don’t just “happen.” Just as our physical bodies get sick from time to time, most relationships go through periods of “illness” as well. Fortunately, with proper treatment, these relationships can “recover” and thrive.

Being constantly on guard for symptoms of illness within your relationships will help keep them healthy and prosperous. People who have healthy relationships are happier and less stressed.

If you answered “yes” to any of the above symptoms, you might be in an unhealthy relationship. If so, here are some possible “remedies”:

Regular check-ups - to determine the overall health of your relationship, it is important to regularly communicate with your partner, friend, relative or associate to determine how they are feeling about the relationship. Set a regular period, depending on the relationship - monthly, quarterly, etc. to get together for the sole purpose of assessing the relationship.

Relationship checklist/chart - discuss what is working and what is not working in your relationship. Work on the issues and revisit them to see if the “stats” have improved at the next check-in.

“Weigh in” on your relationship - each of you should share your feelings with the other person. Be open and honest about what you are experiencing and listen carefully to his or her concerns.

Take the “temperature” of your relationships. Is it running hot or cold? Do you still enjoy each others’ company and/or benefit from the association. Is it moving in a positive direction?

Measure the “pulse”? Is it strong or weak? Is the bond between you growing stronger or weaker from one check-in to the next?

Use the correct prescription - know the right dosage of love and caring to share with that person, remembering that the prescription will be unique for each individual.

Know yourself - just as you pay attention to your body’s signals when it is experiencing injury or illness, know your personal reactions to the situations you encounter in your relationships and how those situations affect you. Know your “numbers” and how to read your results.

Read the warning signs/symptoms - as indicated above, watch for “key indications” that might indicate that there is a malignancy in your relationship.

Here are some of the “vital signs” of a healthy relationship: • Built on respect, trust and caring • Allows each person to be an individual and to grow personally • Allows for differences of opinion and interests • Apologizes, talks things out and moves on • Knows how to respect each others’ “space” • Enjoys each other’s company • Benefits from each other’s opinions • Supports each other’s goals • Contains open communication and sharing of thoughts and ideas as well as active listening • Establishes boundaries that the other knows not to cross • Has common interests, but also values differences • Picks their battles by determining what is really important and what issues are not worth arguing about and works on one issue at a time. • Comfortable saying “no” when necessary • Expresses appreciation for each other to reaffirm respect and affection

In a healthy relationship, you should not be afraid to speak your mind. No type of relationship should cause you to compromise or doubt who you are. People who have your best interests at heart will never ask you to be someone you are not or to compromise what you believe in. Before being open with anyone else, you must first be honest with yourself about who you are, what you are seeking from another person and what you are willing to give.

Remember, healthy relationships are not built overnight. It takes time, energy and commitment to develop any type of relationship, whether with business associates, family, friends or a romantic partner. So, be happy; be healthy; be whole. Here is to a healthier you!



By: Talayah Stovall

About the Author:

There are specific Feng Shui techniques that you can use to improve your relationship with others (romance included).

But what is Feng Shui? It is an ancient Chinese metaphysical discipline that studies how the environment affects a person’s luck in life particularly in the areas of wealth, health and relationship.

There are many schools of Feng Shui and they each have their special techniques to improve relationship luck. I will share with you a very simple but potent formula that can help you to improve the quality of your relationships with others.

This formula is taken from a system known as the Eight Mansions or Eight House which is more than 1200 years old. This system works on the belief that all of us have favorable and unfavorable directions that are influence by the prevailing directional energies that were present when we were born. These favorable and unfavorable directions affect us throughout our life and our fate can be improved if we sit or sleep in harmony with these directions.

Are you ready to take the plunge? The first thing that you need to do is to determine your ‘Kua’ or ‘Gua’ number. This number can be computed using your date of birth and sex. To make the process of determining your ‘Kua’ number easier, you can simply refer to a ‘Kua Chart’ that you can find easily on the net. Read your ‘Kua’ number off the chart. Take note that it depends on your sex.

There are altogether 8 numbers that range from 1 to 4 and 6 to 9. Find out of ‘relationship’ direction by referring to the list below.

If your Kua is 1, your ‘relationship’ direction is south.

If your Kua is 2, your ‘relationship’ direction is north-west.

If your Kua is 3, your ‘relationship’ direction is south-east.

If your Kua is 4, your ‘relationship’ direction is east.

If your Kua is 6, your ‘relationship’ direction is south-west.

If your Kua is 7, your ‘relationship’ direction is north-east.

If your Kua is 8, your ‘relationship’ direction is west.

If your Kua is 9, your ‘relationship’ direction is north.

Let me illustrate with a couple of examples. If you are a male born on 1st July 1957, your ‘Kua’ number is 7 and your ‘relationship’ direction is north east. If you are a female born on the 15th March 1977, your ‘Kua Number’ is 1 and your ‘relationship’ direction is south.

How to apply the formula? To improve your relationship luck, you should re-arrange your table, chair and bed to face your ‘relationship’ direction.

Let’s say that your ‘relationship’ direction is north. Re-arrange your table and chair, if necessary, so that you are facing north when seated. Your back would then face south. This is quite straight forward.

The sleeping direction is a bit different. It is not the direction that you face while lying in bed. Instead the direction is taken from the crown of your head. If your ‘relationship’ direction is north, then you should sleep in a north-south axis with the crown of your head pointed at north and the base of your feet pointed south.

Did I tell you it is simple? If you have tried everything and are not getting the desired results, why not give it a try? Then wait a few months and see if it works for you!



By: Henry Fong

About the Author:

Every person desires to improve his or her own personality.

It is quite evident in the methods and processes that is being employed in order to accomplish this particular goal. This is perhaps the reason why people buy new clothes or cut their hair. They improve their image and other things related to changing their appearances.

Personality goes beyond external appearance. It includes dispositions, traits, qualities, speech, and other things innate in the person.

Here are some tips in improving personality:

1 - Be interested on people. Try to discover what other people want. Know their likes, dislikes, interests, and beliefs. By doing this, you will be regarded as a person with an attractive and pleasing personality.

2 - Assume that people like you. If you show the other person that you want people to talk to you, they will react to you with warmth.

3 - Admit your weaknesses. Do not regard yourself as a perfect person. Just as persons have strengths, they also have their weaknesses. To improve your personality, you should admit that you also have defects.

4 - Admire your friends. Praise them for their achievements. Tell them how attractive they look. Make them feel how important they are to you. By this, they will also give importance.

5 - Associate with people who are successful and happy. Seek the companionship of others who can give you new points of views, renewed hopes, and meaningful life. Ask for their advice and guidance. They can give you valuable insights about their experiences in life. You can learn from their insights and apply their insights to improving your personality.

6 - Attend social gatherings. Social gatherings can increase your circle of friends. Social events can likewise give you new insights and experiences. It can help improve your relationships with other people and your community. Social gatherings can help you develop your communication skills.

7 - Change your environment. Go on vacation or rest in a new place. Renovate your house and fix your furniture. Introduce changes in your environment.

8 - Learn new things. Learn how to cook or play the piano. Enroll in voice lessons. Indulge in gardening. By doing this, you are expanding your horizons.

Aside from this, you can also develop your skills in other areas such as public speaking and understanding other people’s attitudes and beliefs.

Improving your personality takes a lot of work and dedication. While it may take a lot of work, it can be worthwhile and fun because you are focusing your attention on improving relationships with others and yourself.



By: Moni Arora

About the Author:

It’s totally normal to look at the world through rose-colored glasses in the early stages of a relationship. But for some people, those rose-colored glasses turn into blinders that keep them from seeing that a relationship isn’t as healthy as it should be. Here are some traits which can tell you whether you are in the healthy relationships.

Trust and support each other. Support your partners’ goals in life, and respect their right to the feelings, opinions, friends, activities and interest. Partners value differences rather than use them to separate and cause conflict.

Adopt effective communication skills. Those who are able to openly express their feelings in an emotionally safe environment typically deal with situations as they come up and avoid burying frustrations which always have a way of coming out at some point. Each is able to express their thoughts, feelings and needs without fear of being judged.

Negotiation and fairness also can suggest the healthy relationship. Each is willing to compromise, accepting change, and seeking mutually satisfying solutions to conflict.

Be able to take responsibility for your behavior. Sometimes, once we’ve taken responsibility for all our own behavior, we can see clearly that our partners in the relationship are the ones who are acting out. But only when we take responsibility for our behavior, issues, and needs enough to trust that we are safe can we respond with number eleven.

A healthy relationship is not a power struggle. The two of you don’t have to think the same way about things.

A healthy relationship is not symbiotic. You do not have to feel the same way about all things.

Use good conflict resolution skills. Conflict is an almost inevitable part of relationships, especially in relationships where the partners rely on each other and are emotionally close. They key to strengthening a relationship is not to avoid conflict, but to resolve it in a mutually satisfactory way. It is important, therefore, not to judge or blame, or to look for victory when a disagreement arises.

In the healthy relationship, the partner enjoys each other’s company, and look for opportunities to socialize, play, and have fun together

Talk and act in a way that promotes both partners’ feelings of safety in the relationship. Both should feel comfortable and safe in expressing him/herself and in engaging in activities.

Healthy relationships are characterized by respect, sharing and trust. They are based on the belief that both partners are equal, that the power and control in the relationship are equally shared. The aforementioned traits are the integral parts of the healthy relationship.



By: lily004

About the Author:

THE ESSENCE OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIP

` “Human relationships always help us to carry on because they always presuppose further developments, a future and also because we live as if our only task was precisely to have relationships with other people.” Albert Camus. By virtue of being a human being, we have to play various role at different point of time, and this role is popularly called as ‘Human Relationship’. The reason behind to name it as a role is – at different point of time a person has to play a different role with different people, and it is named as different name such as the relationship of - mother and her offspring, father and his offspring, siblings, husband and wife, friends etc. The same person act differently with different person, depends upon the relationship.

Therefore, this World is a huge stage and we all people are the actors playing our roles. We people do not leave our natural life rather always in constrain of relationship and bound to act accordingly. And this constrain is a bond, binds all persons together, give the definite shape and path, real and rational meaning of life otherwise, life would by chaotic and there would not be any order in the society. Hence, the human relationship is a great weapon with us to protect ourselves from all external threats either offend by a human being itself or by any other creatures or natural calamity.

Nevertheless, there is also some sort of relationships among animals but the area and length are very limited. The sense of social feelings is very small, but among human beings, it is eternal and not bound with particular relationship rather universal in nature: or in other words – animals have ‘affectionate relationship’ and human beings have ‘love relationship’. The difference between these two words is – affection simply means ‘love for only own persons, group, community etc. but love means affection for all, and not bound with only respective group or community, region or country. Walt Disney’s quote has very beautifully corroborated my this sentence - “There is great comfort and inspiration in the feeling of close human relationships and its bearing on our mutual fortunes – a powerful force, to overcome the “tough breaks” which are certain to come to most of us from time to time.”

By giving this much of explanations, I can say it that the human relationship keeps too much importance in human being’s life. It not only teaches the manners and etiquettes but also civilizes the person adequately in order to protect himself and his society as well. In general, the person who deprived of these relationships is found malnourished. Most of his/her behaviours are not acceptable by society. I mean to say, all sorts of delinquencies and other petty crimes are only due to frustration of relationship. The frustrated relationship restrains total development of respective person; subsequently, he/she is unable to understand his/her role in the society and takes wrong path.

In spite of having this much of importance of human relationship, people some time due to some external pressure behaves very irrationally and ready to breaks it up. The break up of relationship is not good for any body at any cost. Moreover, it is very much important in our life because all emotions, feelings, and consciences are cocooned under the word human relationship. Therefore, in order to armored ourselves, we have to have carry on our relationship properly, because its break up is insalubrious not only for the concerning person but also threat for society. To build a building takes too much time but to abolish it, hardly a matter of an hour, I mean, living in relationship is a bit difficult task and to break it up – is very easy. So, it’s depend upon you people which task adopt.

Moreover, before stopping my pen, I want to quote Hugh Walpole’s words i.e. “The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one’s relationship has a growing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing;it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.”



By: Mukesh Kumar

About the Author: